How remote is too remote?

The Chonchos Journal · Choosing

How remote is too remote?

No road, no shop, no doctor, no card machine. For some people that reads as a vacation and for others it reads as a problem. This is the plain test, so you can work out which one you are before you pay for anything.

The short answer

Five things decide it: there is no road, nothing is sold here, there are no emergency services, nobody cleans during your stay, and the bungalows have no walls on the ocean side. If all five read as appealing rather than alarming, this place will suit you.

One: there is no road

You arrive by boat or on foot over a mountain. Once you are here, you are here — there is no popping out. The last shop is an hour away by water.

This is the single biggest filter. People who find it romantic have a wonderful week. People who find it claustrophobic should book somewhere with a parking lot.

Two: nothing is sold here

No shop, no bar, no restaurant, no vendors on the sand. There are no ATMs and no card machines at Los Chonchos or in Chimo, so everything on the ground is cash, in pesos.

You provision in Puerto Vallarta and cook in your own kitchen, or you arrange for food to come over from Chimo by boat, or a cook comes to you.

Three: there are no emergency services

No clinic, no hospital, no pharmacy, no doctor. The nearest are in Puerto Vallarta — an hour by boat, then thirty minutes by road.

Bring any medication you take. There are first aid kits on the property, so you do not need to pack one. Travel insurance is worth having for somewhere this far from a road, and we recommend it plainly.

Four: nobody cleans during your stay

Your bungalow is prepared before you arrive and not cleaned again while you are in it. One or two people work on the property from 9am to 5pm, Monday to Saturday — they meet the boats and help with arrival, departure and anything you need.

If what you want is a room serviced daily and a phone that reaches a front desk, this is not that.

Five: the bungalows have no walls on the ocean side

Open-sided under palm thatch, with mosquito nets over the beds and the surf in the room all night. Hummingbirds come through. Iguanas sleep on the deck.

There is no air conditioning, and nothing that plugs in and makes heat will run on the solar system.

The honest test

Read the five questions below. If you answered yes to all of them, you will have the week people write to us about afterwards. If you hesitated on two or more, say so in an email before you book rather than after.

  • Am I happy not to leave for several days at a time?
  • Am I happy to cook most of what I eat?
  • Am I comfortable being hours from medical help?
  • Can I live without daily housekeeping and a front desk?
  • Does sleeping in an open-sided house sound good rather than alarming?

Questions people ask

Is three nights long enough? +

Three nights is the minimum and guests who come for three routinely tell us they wish they had come for six. The first two days are usually spent slowing down.

Is there Wi-Fi if I need to work? +

Four of the six bungalows have satellite Wi-Fi and guests describe it as fast. Two have none at all, deliberately. Cell signal is a separate thing and far less reliable — never count on it.

What if I decide it is not for me? +

Better to decide now. Write to us with the thing you are unsure about and we will answer it straight, including when the answer is that you should go somewhere else.

Six bungalows, one coastline.

The rate is the same all year, so booking early costs you nothing and gets you the months everybody wants.

See the bungalows